I really like the style of the piece and I'm thinking that you really know your reference (closet balet student perhaps? Hehe)
I think though that the moves need a little more anticipation and follow through. What I'm noticing is that the movement of the legs is very much in synch with the movement of body and arms in terms of timing and extremes rather then one movement following another. I think leading into the actions a bit more will make the timing you have seem more realistic.
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