It's a matter of workflow.
Mirroring your face is fine, but you need to do that before you make blendshapes - and not do anything to change the topology or point order after you have started making blendshapes. You have to understand that blendshapes aren't intended to be intelligent at all. They are intended to be simple and fast. All they do, is transfer deformations from one point list to another. If the points in those lists aren't in the same order, the output will be a mess. By deleting and adding faces to your target, you are changing its point order, thereby rendering it useless as a blendshape target.
There are ways to salvage a blendshape with bad point order - but it's exponentially more difficult than just making the blendshape right the first time.
Now, if you have a symmetrical face, and you want an easy way to make left/right counterpart blendshapes, there are some good scripts for that. I suggest mirrorShape. I'm sure there are better options, but offhand I'm only familiar with mirrorShape; I've used it personally and I can vouch for the fact that it works.
The way you would use it is you get your symmetrical head ready, make two duplicates, and do the left blendshape on one of them. Then you select the extra dupe + the left blendshape and run mirrorshape. The script will then mirror the relative deformation of the blendshape onto the raw dupe head -- just by moving points on the dupe head around for you; not by deleting or mirroring any actual geometry.
So there are ways to get a mirrored effect and save time, but as you can see the point remains, never change your topology after you've started blendshaping -- unless you want to create major headaches for yourself.
"and i hope alias will once include a troublesoothing guide with their manual,- for comon problems - like it seems."
No kidding! At the rate this one comes up, a troubleshooting guide would be the minimum expectation. Really, it ought to be printed on the box in large, bold, italicized 50-point impact font:
Maya 4.5 -- by Alias|Wavefront
FOR AN EXPLANATION OF WHAT IS GOING WRONG WITH YOUR BLENDSHAPE, SEE BACK OF BOX
teehee