OK, well, applying your script should be fine. I'm not sure of exactly what you want to do, but I would suggest that you do NOT alter the default camera settings. Rather, make a script to generate a camera with the correct settings and drop it onto a custom shelf as a mel button. You also don't have to driectly alter your renderglobals. You can put it into a mel script called userSetup.mel which you place in your scripts directory. It will be run whenever maya loads, automatically setting it up for you. Also, you can make it even simpler, by setting your render globals and saving it as a new preset. Then your userSetup.mel will just switch the preset.
Other than than, your mel you have written is as a global procedure. So, if you just execute your script, nothing will happen as you have stated. You must save it as a mel file, then source it, or place it in your scripts directory to be automatically sourced when maya loads. Then, you execute the name of the global procedure. So, you will have, for example, a mel button which executes the command "cameraSetup;"
Also, check your information. Are you working with pixel squeeze or square pixels? Because, if your film plates are comming in with 0.980 by 0.745 filmback as standard 35mm film, you will have a pixel squeeze involved which un-squeezes the image to form your 1.85 "panavision / cinemascope" aspect ratio. Of course if you are working on cinemascope 55mm or 70mm the squeeze will not be present. Anamorphic squeeze value will need to be used in your renderglobals if it exists in your plates, and camera settings in order for it to render correctly. Alternatively re-render your plates as square pixels without squeeze and work with that. Which brings me onto your filmback settings...according to your filmback settings, your aspect ratio is 1.82. They are the wrong settings. What you want is :
horizontalFilmAperture 0.792
verticalFilmAperture 0.428
or to be precise : 0.792126 by 0.428176
or 0.8621 by 0.466,
not that it really matters as long as the porportions are correct and form the 1.85 aspect ratio.
Anyways, I sourced your script and executed the cameraSetup command and it worked fine. If you need anymore help just ask.