Yes its a quite definte NO! Well its not my fault your monitor res i too high compared to its area. (dont go 1280*1024 on a 15-17" inch monitor for example. ona 19" itrs a bit pushing it, the operating systems arent realy geraed to the modern dpi resolutions, its something that has just reecently started to happen). Get a deecent 21" or 23" monitor, if you work on it you can ALLWAYS afford one.
BUt the selector handle size CAN be upped just not what you see. Well theoreticaly you could createa visaul proxy out of particles/apishape but its realy only going to slow maya down. Sice now your drawing every point 2 times. Se theres no way you can get exposed to teh core of maya NOMATTER how good coder you are!
Untill alias decides to add this option your going to have to suck with it. but subds for example have bigger sizes dfor their points. ITs not like its hard to implement but without having alsiases code its not feasible. Contact alias.
Note 3 pix by 3 pix is quite big because 5 by 5 wich is the next available accurate size (the size must be odd) is WAY too big. when you get dense meshes. And the next size wich is 7 by 7 is realy awrwardly bi
HOWEVER if yoru seing the points a 1 pixel sized then your GFX dirver glitches! It happens alot on ati boards abnd beacuse theyve never seen it glitchless they asume they need to scale the points but its a bad ogl driver glitch. BUt thenagain you shouldnt be running maya with a ati in the firstplace.
PS. we are starting to come on the rnages that this soon is going to need adressing. but thing is people buy monitors taht are far too small and have way too high resolutions for screenwork.