I found two solutions :
-> get the mesh and the node you want to be notified, then connect them :
MStatus s;
MFnDagNode dg_node1(getMesh()); //getMesh() is user function
MFnDagNode dg_node2(myNode()); //myNode() is a getter to the proper node (the one you want to be connected)
MPlug p1 = dg_node1.findPlug("inMesh", s);
CHECK_MSTATUS(s);
MPlug p2 = dg_node2.findPlug(plug_node2, s); //plug_node2 is the plug from the node you want to be connect (it must be the same type that p1)
CHECK_MSTATUS(s);
MDagModifier mod;
s = mod.connect(p1, p2);
CHECK_MSTATUS(s);
s = mod.doIt();
CHECK_MSTATUS(s);
... When the mesh change, the node is notified. To catch the notification, I have to use the setDepentsDirty method.
-> use callback with the method "addNodeDirtyPlugCallback" (from MNodeMessage Class).
However, it seems to me that the call back function can't be a member function, so I had to pass my node plug in parameter of the call back function.