I did some more research about referencing bugs, and solved the problem by doing these things:
1. Changing the render layer names from the standard names(layer1, layer2) into my own names(AO, BEAUTY)
2. Changing the render layer numbers from the standard numbers(3 and 4 instead of 1 and 2)
3. Changing the render layer and display layer file import preferences to "by number".
4. Saving both files as .ma files instead of .mb, without using numbers in the file names.
5. Referenced both the files with 'by number' checked for both display and render layers in the 'shared reference options'.
Now it's working like a charm!
Sorry for talking to myself, just trying to help others with the same problem=)