Thanks guys ... yes I did import the mesh 
now a new problem appears, check it out:
First so you know how my character is built. I can't quite delete history as you suggest joojaa because of the following: (You're gonna probably cringe but this is my first time rigging a full CG human and I really didn't do it "properly"... sorry for the back asswards approach I took)
I worked on the head first, then the body. the two didn't line up, it looked like this:

I couldn't change the basic shape of the head because I already made a gazillion blend shapes for it.
So I did a blend shape on the head called "Neck_Extend" that when cranked up to 1, joins the head to the body. Like this:

(the tiny seam between head and body is a texture issue that I'll fix soon)
Now, everything looks fine but if I pose the character my normals are locked and I get bad shadows:

So, as you suggest Joojaa I unlock normals on the WHOLE mesh (Note that Head and Body are merged, and are thus a single Poly object.) And yes you are right, the problem of bad normals is gone, thank you!

BUT: I Get a SEAM now between my head and body! Look closely:

If I average normals again, then they get locked. If I unlock them, the seam comes back. I can't do a soften/harden because of the way I built the damn thing....
I guess this is because my head and body were two separate objects that I merged with "polygons --> combine"? So I guess Maya doesn't "see" those edges on the neck as being truly adjacent...
Am I doomed? I know this is NOT the way to go about this, but it's too late now... on my next CG human I will not proceed like this... but in the meantime I need to solve this.
Thx