Thanks for your replies...
Anyway I was hoping to find a way to correctly simulate DOF. The approach with a mask for the filter created by an alpha channel is something I did myself, but this technique gives incorrect results in most situations. Correct depth of field means that the overall contrast of the out-of-focus backround will remain the same, only the outlines of the objects will be blurred, whereas applying a gaussian blur or sth similar will simply blur everything and reduce contrast by mixing large areas of neighboring pixels into a gradation (e.g. a dark background with a brigh object - a shining lamp with correct DOF means that the shape of the lamp is "approximated" but the bright pixels would still be just as bright, and appear larger >> gaussian blur will "erase" the bright pixels and make a smooth mix between the bright/dark areas )...
ANyway, thanks again for your answers, I guess rendering with a lens shader is the only way to go noww...